2016 Recap [bereavement & resilience]

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Saturday, December 31, 2016


A part of me is glad that 2016 is finally over. Like most people this year was by far the toughest year for me. Besides the politics of 2016, this year was an emotional roller coaster with losing a very close relative to trying to figure out my life. Earlier this year (if I can even remember) I think I had a decent handle on things and I didn't stress myself out too much. And spring 2016 was actually my best semester in college. During that semester I also designed pieces for two fashion shows. It was truly an amazing experience to participate. For me, designing clothes needs to have a meaning and when I make something I like it to tell a story. That is why I appreciate creating garments that have an influence from different cultures.

This year I battled with myself. I have this tendency to push myself to the limit and when I say limit I really mean it. For the past 6 months I had 3 jobs (yes seriously!), was a teaching assistant for a physiology course, president of a student group, volunteered, had a fall fashion show, ooh and I was taking 17 credits at the same time. Just writing that gives me chills. I know this is not healthy and quite frankly I do not know how the heck I did it. I would not reccomended this for anyone. However, I got out of it partly-sane but I really did commit to my responsibilities because the fact of the matter was I got myself into this mess and I was the only person who would determine whether I would succeed or fail. I am not telling you all this because I think you should do 6 different things at the same time rather I believe it is important to pursue your goals. So if you think you need to do 10 different things at the same time to accomplish you goals, by all means do it. However, if you need to do 1 or 2 things to get to your goal, then do that. We all have the capacity to do tremendous things but at the end of the day it is up to you to wake up in the morning and do what you need to do to achieve it.

On the other hand, I am going to be quite candid with you all. These past few months were very difficult for many reasons and having countless obligations did not make it easier for me either. I had days where I did not want to get up in the morning to go to class or work. And there were days where I left school early because I need to step back and collect my thoughts for a second. I am so glad that I did that because it is nearly impossible to accomplish your goals if you do not take the necessary breaks to keep your mind content. Likewise, having multiple obligations meant that there were areas that I would have to sacrifice for another. For example, I might not study enough for an exam or maybe bullshit an assignment because I had an 8 hour shift. So it is important to keep in mind that there isn't a true "work-life-balance". Personally, I dislike that term because it gives false hope to people and makes us think that we can have it all without letting go of something.  I might have to do a separate post on that term some other time. For now, just know that we are in control of the decisions we make that determine our future.

For 2017, I want to focus on myself. It may sound selfish but I think it is important to develop self-love before anything else.
1.) Be compassionate to myself
2.) Be mindful and aware
3.) Stay focused
5.) When things get tough, it's okay to ask for help.


Let me know what your goals are for the new year! Comment or Email me.
hamdikeynan@gmail.com
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